Going back to my first love

last night i was laying in bed, moping and being somewhat bitter about not having a date or even a cute guy around for today, a.k.a. valentine's day. i turned off the lights, though not even that tired, and put on my mp3 player, hoping it would help me fall asleep. as i do many nights of the week before going to bed, i turn on one of my favorite songs, "first love" by kirk franklin. laying there, it dawned on me just how selfish and absolutely mad (sorry, south african term, it means crazy) i was being. so often we look to physical, worldly things and humans to satisfy us, yet can they ever REALLY satisfy us as Jesus can?! Can they really solve our problems and make us feel truly loved? i would contest not. After coming out of a year and a half relationship that wasn't anything close to being Godly, part of the lyrics hit me like a brick wall:

You didn’t make it
You thought your love would last forever
Ain’t it funny how a chapter can make a story change
Cold and lonely, you never knew hurt could feel this way
Understand there’s a plan if you’re patient
Hear the savior say

God is able to heal if you listen
And He’ll show you His will if you listen
But you gotta be still and just listen, listen

Come back to your first love
Come back home, back where you belong
Come to your first love

though it's been almost 2 years since that relationship ended, i still am constantly learning from it. we need to come back to our FIRST love, the love of Jesus Christ, the REAL love because that is the only love that will truly satisfy our souls. Listening to that song led me to pray that God would teach me not to lean on the love of other human and other things but to lean on His love alone. i prayed that God would give me joy and happiness in being with him and in love with HIM on valentines day and that i would be totally content without having a guy on the side. He is so faithful! as Uncle Desmond constantly tells me, and he has been so good to me today on valentine's day. so i encourage everyone who reads this... don't get discouraged if you dont have a date for valentines day, because your first love is your valentine's date for the rest of your life!